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The past month has been trying. Sleepless nights, a teething baby (4 teeth now) booking lots of jobs and trying to juggle it all. I have never been a morning person and am starting to learn an except getting up before the sun rises is actually really nice. I find myself looking at the time and thinking I need to go grab lunch or make a phone call but realize its only 9 am which feel like noon by that time. There are moments mid-day I want to crawl back into bed take a nap but can’t cause I have a baby crawling and climbing up everything or laundry to finish. The crawling took me a while to be ok with, not because I have to keep an eye on him getting into everything but because no matter if I just mopped Lucca seems to prove to me I am not that great of a cleaner. And I seem to feel I am failing in the co-sleeping midway through the night. It just seems easier that when I get up to go to my baby and nurse him to sleep the spot next to me in bed is calling his name. And there we sleep next to each other. At the end of the day I don’t want to be hard on myself.

Whether I am sticking to what I said I would do or not do. It doesn’t really matter. In the moments where you feel overwhelmed with motherhood and trying to hold down the fort. What matters is enjoying the ride and living in the moment. We are building memories, for good or bad.

 

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